The Perplexed Appreciator Gifts

'I don't know anything about art and I don't know what I like.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Barcode Dreams

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Cow Kong

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

"From this you make a living?"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"We don't have a cloaking device for our ship, but we've made it look like a banner ad. They won't see us."

Big business is not evil

Who Let the Dawg In?

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'