Mistletoe Mischief Maker Pillows

"Don't even think about it."

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Merry Kissmas

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Knights

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

God creates humans.

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

A trap for Santa

'Whoa, rough landing! Are you guys okay?'

'Oh look, you're under the misletoe, that means I can smell your bum!'

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'No pennies.'