Mistake Maestro Gifts

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

A Dummy Corporation.

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

Martha Stewart at Home.

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

"But this way I know where everything is."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

Play golf on the billiards table.

"No...I said aperitif!!"

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.'

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

'Maybe the pilot crash landed here.'

'Of course I would have preferred to be a music prodigy...'

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."

Naive to its unconventional approach, Wyatt is victimized by the rare and elusive Mumble Bee.

Wordplay: Intoxicated.

'I'm waiting until someone develops a Weapon of Mess Destruction.'