Missed Shot Maestro Gifts

Golfer missing his shot.

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

Edinson Cavani

George Best

'Did you see my ball come by here?'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

A Dummy Corporation.

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

"But this way I know where everything is."

Martha Stewart at Home.

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'Cats make the best mousetraps.'

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

'This little baby allows you to automatically block halftime shows.'

Andrés Iniesta

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

Musical Archer

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

'Maybe the pilot crash landed here.'

'Of course I would have preferred to be a music prodigy...'

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."

When Focus Group Researchers Go Head to Head