Mission Statement Jester Gifts

'It's just office furniture. Who needs it? We still have our mission statement.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

Ski kicker.

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'Any questions?'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Show Jumping Tantrums

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

Never poke fun.