Mismatch Misadventurer Gifts

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

Please use another building entirely

The island paradise is the same as on the brochure, just a tad smaller than he thought.

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

The Barber of Tulsa, a regional opera that closed opening night.

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'The Trumpet Compulsory.'

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

Lady on balcony dumps musical notes on singer.

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

'I miss my water bed.'

Not a happy camper.

'I thought the car was amphibious!'

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

"You're holding the map upside-down."

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

Gilligan's Elevator.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."