Misadventurer Gifts

'They looked like mountains in the travel brochure!'

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Please use another building entirely

The island paradise is the same as on the brochure, just a tad smaller than he thought.

'I said, 'Left after the bunny slope! Left!'.'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

The Barber of Tulsa, a regional opera that closed opening night.

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

'The Trumpet Compulsory.'

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

Lady on balcony dumps musical notes on singer.

I told you I lost it in the sun.

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

Not a happy camper.

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

'I thought the car was amphibious!'

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

Painting into a corner.

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

'Now that's what I call a tourist trap.'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.