Misguided Explorer Pillows

You are here...

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

Be open to help.

"You have arrived at your destination."

Amateur Palmist

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

"Not much is known about them. They apparently, had a highly advanced, thriving civilization. Then one August, everyone left the city and never returned."

Shipwrecked.

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'Let's follow this guy you said, he seems to know the way!'

"Scientists believe the mysterious asteroid, known as 'Oumaumau', may be a space probe, a discarded solar sail or a huge alien turd."

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

Scarecrow Directions

Castaway with a tennis court.

'How am I doing?'

"Didn't I tell you to buy a GPS?"

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

"It was buried only last month, but we couldn't wait."