Mischievous Maddie Gifts

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Meowlzebub

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

A thief steals a heart

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'We were mud wrestling.'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

Watch for Children.

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'You'll pay for this.'

Cat burglar.

Children using thier aunt's round hat as a target

Spiro & Pusho on the minefield

"Tuna and chicken bone breakfast smoothie. We were going to surprise you."

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"So let me get this straight...the equality movement has basically doubled the number of crazy high school kids who secretly decorate cars in the middle of the night?"

"Her name's Snuggles."

Boy teasing a guard

'Maybe she has allergies.'

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'

'I told you not to argue with the ref, Dewey.'

"I know I said my dog had no teeth, mister- but that's not my dog!"

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.