Mischievous Couple Pillows

She was to regret having asked Colin to be more of an animal in bed.

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Inappropriate Snowmen

Advanced footsie

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

A Prickly Pair

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"Don't tell him anything."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Prison Romance.

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

A thief steals a heart

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

Monkey Business

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

Cupid

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"Ahh, bless him. He's run out of bird feed for our little Blue Tits."

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

Lovers' Leap

'...I can't believe you surprised me with a romantic balloon ride for our anniversary!'