Misanthropy Enthusiast Pillows

'Misanthropology.'

In Memory of Old Bob Who Loved This Park But Hated People

I HATE STUFF

"Brian and I were destined to be a couple. We both hate everyone else."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

"He had his binoculars back to front!"

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

'I thought you'd like to know the cat got down from the roof by itself.'

Discus accidents.

'The crystal reveals you spend your money foolishly. That will be twenty-five dollars, please.

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."

Astral Projecting Babushkas

"I'm dating a spiritualist medium..."

Dr Crawford's clich� clinic

The newspaper that psychics read every morning.

A bag of flour squirts into clown's face.

"I count four... and there should be five."

Items from the Fall 2018 Melancholia Catalogue.

"Seducers, politicians and non-believers, it's all become so humdrum. I often wonder, where have all the sorcerers and fortune tellers gone?"

'You will meet a tall, handsome psychologist who will teat your gullibility.'