Misanthrope Gifts

"Idiots who kill people for a stupid religion. Greedy morons who destroy the environment, crazy war mongers...you can keep your creation. It scares me to death, man!"

"My husband finally figured out a way to keep our relatives from visiting."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Ho, ho, you're fired."

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

"When the mist clears, turn right."

Troubles with a vacuum cleaner

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

"Brian and I were destined to be a couple. We both hate everyone else."

I HATE STUFF

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'

Man casting a fly rod and taking his partners face off

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

'Misanthropology.'

In Memory of Old Bob Who Loved This Park But Hated People

Dogs allowed. Actually, we prefer people stay out and only the dogs come in.

"I fled from suppression, torture, exploitation and bullies."

"How can I love my enemies when I don't even like my friends?"

'. . . You're starting an anti-social network. . .'

'His bait got away.'

Antisocial distancing

"People extra suck"

Sponsored grump, donate now: 'This isn't much of a challenge for you really, is it?'

Race starter shooting Cameraman with starting gun

Coffee.

Me vs everybody else

"It says here you once ordered take-out for twenty-seven nights in a row. What kind of person does that?"

Bad sport cards

"Relax. I just nicked myself shaving this morning"

"Go find that band in the valley and by all means, make them stop playing that song with a funky groove that I can't resist."

Victim of wireless technology.

"Harlow is unbiased politically. He hates the whole human race."