Miracle Thinker Gifts

'Moses, this screams for development.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Fishing with God

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Tiny Visions

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Quantum Psychic

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Sisyphus visits Stowe

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Magic Tricks

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Sisyphus and coronavirus

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

A voodoo doctor.

Moses gets REALLY lost in the desert.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Folk o' the Wee

"That's my boy!"