Miracle Humor Fan Pillows

Benefits of going out to eat with Jesus.

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Faster, Georges, faster!

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Tiny Visions

The Snooze Bar.

Dog in casino.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

Beer Parasol.

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

No, I don

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

tRUMp, Pirate President

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"