Miniature Story Digester Gifts

Little girl to baby: Is that a good book?

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

Tabletop Theatre

'I'm having a private showing over on my grandma's refrigerator next week.'

"I'm getting it registered as an historical landmark."

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

Grumpy old merry men.

'So there we were, driving to day care, when our van was attacked by a giant squid.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Who's Dead

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"Oh, wow....this is cool! What are you making?"

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

Caleb at work

'I'd like to come out and play but I can't find a sitter.'

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

'Steer clear of the blow hole until we get to Sausalito.'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"As far as I know, it's been abandoned for years. I hear it's haunted."

Little Bo-Peep searching for her sheep.

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

"We met online."

"Ow! Rotten stinking sky!!"

Papi agrees to buy Baldo a lowrider but it's a model car.

"You've just been copying things from my sex diary into your sex diary."

'What's my story? I was 'sold down the river', then 'sent up the river.''

"Son, take this watch. My father stole it from an Englishman and I'm sick of taking heat from interpol."

'It's just homework...there's no conspiracy.'