Vintage Story Reader Gifts

Little Bo-Peep searching for her sheep.

Gen-Next Library

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Bront?saurus.'

William Tell

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Jane Austen

Nanki Poo

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

"I dropped my goblet!"

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

A new meaning in the Roman

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

"I'm looking for a good old-fashioned housemaid - the kind that screams when discovering a dead body."

". . . And I tell you that Sir Walter Raleigh used his OWN coat."

My aunt astonishes me

The ghost's walk