Mini Major Leaguer Gifts

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

"Forget lemonade. The real money's in bottled water."

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

"But on the bright side, we're holding our own in a 12 trillion dollar economy!"

"They have so much in common."

'Since the healthcare legislation became law, our Little MBA kit outsells our Little Doctor Kit by a hundred to one.'

A Lovely Afternoon of Crazy Golf

'Thanks...but according to the web, 80 of kids' allowances are now linked to the Dow.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

Little League Umbrellas

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

"The kid's a natural."

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

'Amanda, you've got to get over being shy.'

'Keep your eye on the ball, Jake! Level swing! Rotate your hips! ... and ease up on the sunflower seeds!'

Golf Fib

Kids playing doctor.

STRIP Hambone: Young IT professionals

"I figure a few more lemons borrowed from mom and we'll be too big to fail."

"I don't mind losing to him, but does he have to use those little plastic clubs?"

"Shovel your runway?"