Minor League Supporter Gifts

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Sheltering in place.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Monster Baseball

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

For Joe Ninth, 2 out, bases loaded, finally innings, scores tied, this was his moment.

Sign Him.

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

'Here comes my homey...'

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

'Give us another minute, blue. The surgeon just reattached the tendon and he's closing up.'