Mini Major Leaguers Gifts

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"He likes it."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Soccer kids texting

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

Little League Umbrellas

A Lovely Afternoon of Crazy Golf

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

"The kid's a natural."

You Always Get to Be the Good Guy

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

'Keep your eye on the ball, Jake! Level swing! Rotate your hips! ... and ease up on the sunflower seeds!'

'Me, I'm making my pocket money by selling my dad's old shoes as lucky charms...'

Kids playing doctor.

TV and boy

STRIP Hambone: Young IT professionals

"Before we can open it we need Mom's PIN number."

I have the most amazing crawler's high right now!

'I'm holding out for a $1 million signing bonus, plus product endorsement perks.'