Little League Magician Gifts

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Remember,Riley-as soon as you clear your desk you may leave early.'

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

Sportsmanship

Shadow Artist

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

'MOM! -- Kevin's sticking pins in my Harry Potter doll!'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

Young Houdini

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.