Mini-bar Explorer T-Shirts

'My, the little lady certainly hit the mini-bar!'

Excess Baggage: Check the prices of the items in the hotel mini-bar before treating yourself to a feast.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Twenty-first century baby walker

Bike Rides

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'Whatever he's eating.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

Coffee Menu

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

Heart Disease Menu

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.