Mini-bar Explorer Pillows

'My, the little lady certainly hit the mini-bar!'

Excess Baggage: Check the prices of the items in the hotel mini-bar before treating yourself to a feast.

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Bike Rides

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

'Whatever he's eating.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

Coffee Menu

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Heart Disease Menu

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'