Mindful Jokers Gifts

'Scram! -- I don't endorse candidates!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

I am one with stupid.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Watch for Men Being Supid

"I took your advice."

How to avoid a heart attack.

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"But is it Organic?"

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

'No cup holder?'

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

Seagull humour.

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

Almost Your Time.

Have a CRAPPY New Year!

'It might be all right for some but I'll not have anyone tinkering with my subconscious. Anyway, supposing they found I hadn't got one!'