Mindful Jokers Gifts

'Scram! -- I don't endorse candidates!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

I am one with stupid.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"But is it Organic?"

Watch for Men Being Supid

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

'No cup holder?'

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

Almost Your Time.

Seagull humour.

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

'It might be all right for some but I'll not have anyone tinkering with my subconscious. Anyway, supposing they found I hadn't got one!'