Mindful Jokester Gifts

'That's okay. These are my key people.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Men dancing

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Leaving cards.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Broad Minded

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

Interrupted Shower.

'Hello? Animal control?'