Millennial Maverick Pillows

"I love Millennials. Instead of a company car, we just give them a skateboard."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"He's an indoor cat."

Gene Therapy

"We added it just for the millenials."

"The season finale of the world is near."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

'You know you're 40 when...'

Conformity

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Don't sweat the small stuff

Captain Millennial

"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

"What's a phone book?"

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Crybaby Millennials

"If he wags his tail, it's a 'Like'."

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

Hairstyle Inspiration

"I'm not kidding, Phil! You really ARE the poster child for middle-aged, disillusioned and down-hearted businessmen everywhere!"

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

Millenial Peacock