Millennial Quirk Pillows

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

Wifi in Hell

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"The season finale of the world is near."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Captain Millennial

Fables for the Millennial.

Man bun tending

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

"I think we have mice in the walls."

Millennial

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Disloyal

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

Crybaby Millennials

The First Millennial Robin of Spring

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

Housing Dilemma for Young Adults

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."