Millennial Issues Observer Pillows

"Are you kidding? I could never move back in with my parents. I'm living with yours."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'It was my unfair dismissal claim cap.'

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"We added it just for the millenials."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

Old Yarns

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

Blogging Shoes

"May I air-quote you?"

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'