Milk Maestro T-Shirts

'Engorgement's not easy for either of us.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

Farmer tacking up signs in Dairy barn.

'I love eating out.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'Here he comes with the milk check, let him do the talking.'

'I said a dozen eggs and one pint of milk.'

'Relax! I was just seeing if I could fit it all in if I wanted to.'

A Tit for Tat.

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

Higher milk production

"He's such a fussy eater."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

Burnt or Raw?

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Pull the udder one

Patissier

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

'I think breast milk is better... It's free, always fresh and the cat can't get to it.'