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'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"He's such a fussy eater."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

A Tit for Tat.

Movember

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Pull the udder one

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

Street Organ - Monkey

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"If I put mustaches on all of us, we look more like a team."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Edward Elgar.

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"You don't think you're bringing that mustache in here do you?!"

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'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Two men discussing thier moustaches

Friedrich Nietzsche

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

"You must be new around here, pardner."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'