Milestone Collector Gifts

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Military Medals

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

Barristers

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'I was in the catering corps.'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Jumping Man

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Jungle Games

Happy Champion

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'She said her first words today.'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

A very fine vintage

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

Beetles Crossing sign on Abbey Road

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

The Unknown Attorney: The First To Double His Billable Rate.

'This one is for not hinting in T.V. interviews that Burma's pacifists should be send WMPs.'

"If I'm going to be ten tomorrow, does that make me a 'ten' ager?"

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."