Mileage Master T-Shirts

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

'After your last lesson, I'm not taking any chances!'

Driver Showdown

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'When an outboard goes overboard'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

Checking watch

New Scoots for Old Coots!

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

'There goes Davies again, lording it in his company vehicle.'

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

'Sorry, ma'am, we don't carry snow tires for that!'

Skydivers recording their air miles.

"You wish I was making kissy sounds! My walker needs oiling!"

This one gets 40 miles per gallon!

Only 5000 miles on the clock!