Mileage Manipulators T-Shirts

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

Studies show that for every hour of time-zone shift, it takes three days to fully reestablish your circadian rhythm. Can't do the math? Here are some handy clues you may have jet-lag!

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

'Sorry, ma'am, we don't carry snow tires for that!'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

This one gets 40 miles per gallon!

Driver Showdown

"You wish I was making kissy sounds! My walker needs oiling!"

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

Skydivers recording their air miles.

"Your ticket was $340, but the flight is extra."

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."