Love Mileage Keeper T-Shirts

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Mother's Love

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Sorry, Dad."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into making this company what it is today! My father worked hard for what I've got."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

'Look around Dad. This was once all yours...'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"I'm sorry son, but one day all this will be yours."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

'Sorry, but pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

Millionaires club - self-made / inherited.

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

Social Distancing

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

A Commitment Addict