Love Mileage Keeper Pillows

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Michael Jackson

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Mother's Love

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Sorry, Dad."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into making this company what it is today! My father worked hard for what I've got."

'Look around Dad. This was once all yours...'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"I'm sorry son, but one day all this will be yours."

The Day The Music Died

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

'It's been in the family for generations; ever since my great, great granddad robbed it from the Duke of Burford's gaff.'

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

'Sorry, but pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

Millionaires club - self-made / inherited.

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

Social Distancing

Driver Showdown