Mileage Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

YONDER...next 347 miles.

Mohammad's motors

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

Man helping a mini learner driver

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'The penguin is upset...'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

Nice park. . .

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

I love my motor.

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'They'll tax it less than my 4X4.'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

'Nice smile.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."