Midnight Snack Dodger Pillows

'I have decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of the bedroom.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

Bedside Manna.

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

'You were up four times last night.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Diet Enforcer

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock