Midlife Crisis Club Pillows

Devil driving a convertible with many tailpipes

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Middle-Age Superheroes

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Rock and Roll

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Quick Spring Fling