Overcoming A Midlife Crisis Pillows

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Middle-Age Superheroes

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I'm here for the hair."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Menopause and the City

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'