Overcoming A Midlife Crisis Pillows

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

He kept up his guitar practise...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I'm here for the hair."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

Quick Spring Fling

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'