Midlife Crisis Rider Pillows

"Please--if my wife still loved me, would she have let me buy this motorcycle?"

He kept up his guitar practise...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

Quick Spring Fling

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'