Middle-earth Explorer T-Shirts

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Sauron's Sore Eye

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"I keep reading 'Lord of the Rings' over and over again...!"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Did you have a cat?"

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"All the celebrities come here."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."