Middle-earth Wanderer T-Shirts

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

J. R. R. Tolkien

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Astral Projection

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Sleeping Beauty

Goddess

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

Child in a bear suit.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Ghostship

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

OM, SWEET OM

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

"Free why-fi.”

Sand Pyramids

"Well, I finally found God. ... God is really good at Trivial Pursuit."

"He's mad at God."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

Mommy and I are back from New Zealand. How was your trip? It was great. I got to see where the Hobbits lived. And there was green everywhere. Then we had to go. They wouldn't grant you and your mom refugee status? No. We tried Antarctica after that. We tried real hard to fit in. But the penguins just would not accept us as part of their society. Tell your mommy Trump's only going to be president for eight short years.

"Your problem is that you live in a fantasy world."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

The Landlord Of The Rings

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

Leaves Falling in Heaven.

"... And I think you should apologise to that palm reader for scoffing at her predictions."