Middle-earth Adventurers T-Shirts

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

Child in a bear suit.

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"False alarm - the King is just sleeping. Long sleep the King!"

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"When was your last meta-physical?"

Lawrence of Suburbia

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"I was NOT huffing and puffing - it's just allergies."

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

Hermes

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'Words of wisdom? OK, how about, next time take the elevator.'

In later years, St. George wondered if it was the real dragon he had slayed