Middle-earth Adventurer Gifts

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Child in a bear suit.

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"False alarm - the King is just sleeping. Long sleep the King!"

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.