Middle-earth Enthusiast Gifts

Middle earth TV.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

J. R. R. Tolkien

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Joust Sharpener

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

underwater knight

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Knights of the bedside table.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Car joust.