Microwave Expert Gifts

'Tv dinner'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

I've always been slower than computers...

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"Maaaybe we could remove some of the electrons from our electricity and market both regular and premium grade."

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

"You must be the new barmaid."

"Latest in Microwave Technology."

Dad's Diner - 'The best in frozen foods'.

Joe's Bar and Microwave 'The grill got busted.'

'I'm making pot pie.'

Empty Telco Hardware Room

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

Angel versus satellite...