Microwave Expert Pillows

'Tv dinner'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"We've been cancelled."

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

I've always been slower than computers...

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

Microwave Popcorn. Other side up. Whatever you do, do not go in the sauna.

"Maaaybe we could remove some of the electrons from our electricity and market both regular and premium grade."

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'Oh,he's ok if you get on the right side of him.'

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

"You must be the new barmaid."

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

Joe's Bar and Microwave 'The grill got busted.'

Angel versus satellite...

Empty Telco Hardware Room

'I'm making pot pie.'

"Latest in Microwave Technology."

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"