Microwave Experimenters Pillows

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"I'm putting you on country music."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"Bear in mind, George, that even an experimental physicist must at times be reasonable."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"Let me show you my latest D.I.Y. project."

"First, break the egg...."

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

Soup on a stick

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

Crash Testing Clown Car.

"Lab-grown?"

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

Revenge on Santa

"Latest in Microwave Technology."

'You're putting fruit into your famous tuna smoothie.'

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

Joe's Bar and Microwave 'The grill got busted.'

Faith-Based Tuna Casserole

Have you got some E98 and E695 for 'Ma Traffords home baked apple pie'?