Magical Experimenters Pillows

"Is it gold yet?"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

This Year's Spa

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

"I'm putting you on country music."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"Let me show you my latest D.I.Y. project."

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"First, break the egg...."

'I hope you are not playing God again . . .'

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"Sorry about this. Some kids from the neighborhood flushed a cherry bomb down our sub-atomic particle accelerator."

Before the Salivating Dogs

'We've done it! We've created a better mouse...'

Soup on a stick

The Dangers of Unlicensed Science Teachers.

Crash Testing Clown Car.

Forty years man and wife and the chemistry was still there.

'You're putting fruit into your famous tuna smoothie.'

"Lab-grown?"

Revenge on Santa