Microwave Enthusiast Gifts

'No, you can't fast forward the microwave like a DVD!'

'I'm homeless, but my microwave gives me hope!'

"They grow up so fast."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Create some buzz!

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

WiFi Signals

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

TV-Man

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

TV jester.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Newspaper suicide.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Binge Watch

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"