Microwave Dinner Guru Pillows

'What TV dinner goes best with a sitcom?'

Come dine with me!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I put an app on your phone that punches you in the face every time you eat junk food. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind."

'Go on - they're organic!'

"The doctor said I need more calcium, so I'm switching from dark to milk chocolate."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"A deep-fried bone is taking it too far!"

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'I pushed the popcorn button but there isn't any in there.'

'I don't care as long as don't end up being eaten over a sink.'

"It's the worse case of flatulence I've ever witnessed!"

'Thanksgiving dinner will be ready some time in February.'

"There's too much fibre in your diet! Your roots are showing!"

'Come on, stop playing and eat your dinner before it freezes again...'

'Your bypass operation will be self administered. Pass by every other meal.'

'That's enough, thank you.'

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

"The Toast Whisperer"

"When you say "Someone doesn't know how to put a paper towel over a bowl of chili to re-heat in the nuker", I know you mean me."

'Four thousand packets of the new anti-obesity drug, please'

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.'

"So, what's your nutritional information?"

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"I've heard of instant Karma, but I didn't know there was a microwavable version."

...either you've found world's best diet or world's worst investment consultant...

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'

'It's more a six barrel than a six pack!'

"That Wu-Long tea diet is starting to look better every day."

'Oh, my wife invented that -- it's for mashing potatoes.'

"Quick, get it while its molecules are still vibrating."